SHARED SKIES

How do I measure the last five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes of my life? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee? To add to my favorite song’s lyrics, I think I can measure 2004 in despedidas, in paper jams, in full moons, in trips to the doctor, in badminton games, in journal entries, in events planned, in new pairs of shoes, in weddings, and in paperclips lost and found. But I think the most significant measure of this year is in realized dreams.

It all started around this time last year. Whether we like it or not, we all get a little extra reflective as the year ends. After a quick evaluation of the past year, most people are drawn to writing New Year’s Resolutions—a list of things they want to change or of promises for a better self. I will go to the gym at least twice a week. I will do one good deed a day. I will only drink diet soda. I will quit smoking. Unfortunately, most people, as soon as they’ve completed their list of resolutions, also end up saying, “New Year’s resolutions are meant to be broken.”

I chose to write a Wish List instead. Around this time last year, I wrote a list on the second page of a brand new journal (Thank you, VJ, for a great gift!) as I asked myself: What do I want in 2004? Make a new friend. Watch a play. Make a portfolio. Get a massage. Teach an art class. Go to Punta Fuego. Watch Band of Brothers. Lose 10 pounds. Go dancing. Reconnect with a long-lost friend. Get published. Go on blind dates. Submit past projects to publishers. Read Harry Potter 5. Take pictures. Learn to commute. Fall in love. Instead of a list of resolutions or promises for change, my list was an arbitrary, unedited, and selfish list of things I wanted for myself. Compared to a list of resolutions, I think a Wish List is more proactive and results-oriented. Rather than what I will do, a list of wishes and dreams focuses on the outcomes and asks the question: What do I really want? Without the limitations brought about by a genie in a bottle, it was an exercise of freeflowing and creative, yet realistic, dreaming.


When somebody wants something, the whole Universe conspires in their favor.


Nothing happens by chance. I have always believed that my life is one big conspiracy. (Is it just me? Or do you believe that too?) Everything in my life—the people I’ve met, the places I’ve been, the homes I’ve created, the struggles I’ve put up with, the talents I’ve been given, the relationships I’ve built and nurtured, and the person I was and who I’ve become—all happened for a reason. I may not know all the reasons or answers yet, but I know that there are no coincidences.

It’s amazing how His Master Plan is so aligned with my own dreams. God loves us and knows what’s best for us; yet He builds our life’s path with our own steps, that is, with our own free-willed actions, and yes, our own dreams. When I want something from the deepest part of me—that which is inherently good and just—He can’t help but extend His Hand to fulfill my dreams. When I want something so badly, it seems as if the Universe creates the necessary avenues and connections to make my dreams come true.

My favorite Psalm 37:4 captures it all: “Delight in the Lord and He will grant all your heart’s desires.” A Father will always delight in the happiness of His children. Because I am loved, I can dream big; but more importantly, because He loves me, I can also expect great things from Him who controls my Universe.


[She]… sometimes thinks: 'If I do not do something, it will not be done.'
It is not quite like that: She must act, but she must allow room for the Universe to act too.


I am still amazed and delighted: more than half of my 2004 dreams came true. My answered prayers weren’t just the results of my actions though; I’m convinced the Universe truly conspired in favor of my dreams.

RECONNECT WITH A LONG-LOST FRIEND. I was able to reconnect with five, not one, long-lost friends: Kit Villanueva, Ursula Sherwood and Gaby Mondria, Yelle Nadal, and Fr. Tom Steinbugler, S.J. Kit and I were best friends in third grade, nearly two decades ago. The last time I saw him, he was lying in the ICU of a hospital after an accident in 1997. In March, he sent out a generic THS-IS-MY-NEW-NMBR-PLS-SAVE message and after a couple of exchanges, we ended up meeting for dinner and coffee the following week. Ursula and Gaby were two of my closest friends from more than a decade ago at the Jakarta International School. The three of us were inseparable in eighth grade but lost touch after I moved back to Manila in 1997. In June, Ursula surprised me with a Hotmail message after a friend of hers found me on Friendster and got my email address. Shortly after, Gaby found me online and we caught up with each other’s lives via instant messages. Yelle is the little sister I never had; she and I were friends as early as 1997 back in our YFC-Alabang days. In July, she invited me to join her at a Poetry Writing Workshop for Non-Poets. It’s great to spend time with her again—good conversation (injected with lots of giggles and laughs) anywhere, anytime—just like the good ole days. I met Fr. Stein in 1999 during my sophomore year in the Ateneo. He gave me his calling card in the confessional box and invited me to breakfast the next day. After sharing pancakes and sausages with him, he and I became quick email buddies but unfortunately lost touch after some time. I visited Ateneo last month and tracked him down. Surprisingly enough, he remembered me and our email exchanges even after nearly five years.

MAKE A NEW FRIEND. I asked for one new friend and the Universe was extra-extra-generous. I’m happy my life crossed paths with three new friends: Tobbie Cadhit, Mig Molina, and Gang Badoy. I met Tobbie when I worked on the Union Cement’s Leader’s Congress in mid-March. We spent a couple of days in Antipolo and I knew I made a friend when we talked about destiny so comfortably as we munched on watermelons after lunch of Day One. In between work, we talked non-stop about our varied interests: books, musicals, reading people, movies, planning events, fate, and everything else in between. Tobbie surprised me with a giant bouquet of 26 pink and red roses for my 26th birthday in May. Mig joined DDI in mid-April. He insists we met in the STrains room in 2001 (when he was a freshman and I was a senior in Ateneo) but my goldfish-memory fails me. Beneath the intimidating and masungit exterior, Mig is fun-to-be-with and incredibly insightful. We’re both nerds in our own unique way so he and I can talk about Kant, languages, local media’s effect on Filipino children, regret, and past relationships; debate over the differences between a cup and a mug; compare notes on our shared interests like writing, theater, astrology, and Van Gogh, among others; and brainstorm for stories and poems in the pantry or after a badminton game. Gang was my teacher for the poetry workshop I joined with Yelle in July. Gang and I continue to spend time together even after the four evenings in Ateneo for the Poetry Writing Workshop for Non-Poets. She is so animated, opinionated, and alive: I enjoy our non-stop conversations immensely—whether over a two-hour lunch, under the stars, stuck in traffic, or online. I love how she can deliver lines from her favorite poems off the top of her head, how she has such varied interests (from poetry to public health), and how she can so relate to unspoken love and my attraction to full moons.

MAKE A PORTFOLIO. Inspired by my favorite Tori Amos song, I called it Pieces of Me. I included works from high school’s IBH Art and sketches from Heights, among others.

PICK UP MY DIPLOMA. Finally! After three years! I am finally an official graduate of the Ateneo!

GO DANCING. After dinner and drinks (and a mild earthquake!) with friends, Camille and I went dancing at 90 Proof for her 26th birthday. And to wonderfully nostalgic 80’s music too!

GO ON BLIND DATES. Thank you, Don, Joel, and Noel for pleasant evenings. Thank you too, Rhea and Chiko, for setting me up with them.

LOSE TEN POUNDS. I played badminton at least once a week, cut down on my sugar intake, and ate less for dinner. I’m still not at my ideal weight but at least I’m ten pounds lighter and I can wear some clothes from my college days! Yahoo!

GET A MASSAGE. I treated myself at The Spa after the extra-stressful week of the PSTD and MAP Conventions last November. It’s always good to reward and pamper yourself, guilt-free.

WATCH A PLAY. I got to watch three plays this year. Thanks to Papa’s silver passes, I enjoyed Rep’s Fame and Caught in the Net. Thanks to Gang, we got free passes to catch Ten Times Ten featuring Michael de Mesa, Ricky Davao, and Bodjie Pascua.

FALL IN LOVE. Sigh. On hindsight, I should have asked the Universe for true love instead. End of story.

TAKE PHOTOS. Armed with Papa’s digital camera on the AdMU campus, I rediscovered my interest in photography. I went trigger-happy with The Quad, the many benches scattered around, the beautiful trees lining both wide roads and tiny pathways, and The Gesu. I took it one step further and uploaded my photos on Yahoo! Photos to share with friends.

GET PUBLISHED. My personal essay on my DDI experience, entitled Aspirations Realized, was recently published in DDI Directions, our global e-newsletter! It’s my top-ten list of why I love my work at DDI; what started out as fuzzy thoughts in my head eventually evolved into a full-blown three-page essay. I never imagined it would find its way to the inboxes of our clients and colleagues around the world!

To keep me grounded, there were also items I didn’t get to tick off from my 2004 Wish List. Perhaps I didn’t dream and work hard enough, or perhaps the Universe decided it wasn’t the right time yet, but I didn’t get to teach an art class or submit my works Simply Silly or Ang Kalawakan ng Langit to publishers. Our Punta Fuego trip is tentatively scheduled early next year. Band of Brothers is still on my Videos-to-Watch List. My canvas board is still white with waiting. I didn’t learn how to commute. I guess I can always carry these over into my 2005 Wish List.


Dreams mean work.

My good friend and colleague Cricket Limlingan helped me pursue a dream I didn’t even have in my original 2004 Wish List. She pushed me to work and submit an entry to the 2005 PBBY-Salanga Prize, a national writing contest for children’s stories. I have always been interested in children’s literature: I really enjoyed my elective on Writing and Illustrating for Children, I find myself heading straight to the children’s books’ sections of a bookstore, and my collection of children’s books continues to grow.

Whenever I would complain and admit to procrastination, Cricket kept reminding me of our goal: yes, we will submit an entry, even if it means having to drive all the way to the Kamuning area on October 1st to submit our stories and make the deadline. And so I worked for weeks: I did research on children’s literature, I brainstormed with friends and kids, I wrote and re-wrote drafts, I deleted them, and I started over. After several stay-at-home-working weekends and stay-up-late weeknights, I finally ended up with a story entitled The Yellow Paperclip with Bright Purple Spots and submitted it on the deadliest deadline date. The dreaming and working paid off: just when I felt November 4 would be yet another normal day at work, I got a call from Adarna House saying my story won the PBBY-Salanga Prize.

With this one dream realized, bigger dreams have just begun.


The Universe always conspires to help the dreamer.


How can I ever thank the Universe for an amazing 2004? God’s Hand was so visible in my realized dreams; without a doubt, the Universe conspired to help Nikki the Dreamer.

I was hand-picked to work on the Union Cement project where I met Tobbie. I’m happy I was able to watch all three plays for free. After an excited email exchange, Ursula said she gladly crossed off “Get back in touch with Nikki” from her own Wish List. It was Yelle who invited me to the Poetry Writing Workshop (where I met Gang, of course) and who also told me about the PBBY-Salanga Prize. Mig helped me brainstorm for my story and added the bright purple spots to my yellow paperclip. Gang was the perfect candidate for a DDI project with the Department of Health. I gave Aspirations Realized to Rich Wellins, DDI’s SVP for Global Marketing, who was here in November for the PSTD and MAP Conventions (which stressed me out so I got that massage!); he had it published in DDI Directions and started talks with my boss for my trip to Pittsburgh trip in Spring 2005! And who really plans to fall in love?

I know that my realized dreams are part of a greater conspiracy: they are stepping stones of God’s path for me. I know my 2004 dreams will lead to even bigger dreams in the future… wherever or whatever that may be. I can’t wait to discover what else the Universe has in store for me.


A great dream is made up of many different things, just as the light from the sun is the sum of its millions of rays.


What is my great dream for 2005? What does the Universe have in store for me in the coming year? What dreams do I want realized in the new year? In no particular order, here are many different things from my arbitrary, unedited, selfish 2005 Wish List:

Go to a retreat. (I’d like to go on another five-day silent Ignatian retreat.)

Watch Band of Brothers. (Camille: “Nikki, you still haven’t seen it?! It’s a must… it’s a man-fest!”)

Have a Date-with-Myself Day at least once a month. (I loved the two I had in 2004!)

Publish my Yellow Paperclip story. (I hope Adarna does! I hope, I hope, I hope!)

Have a Spaceballs party. (So friends can finally relate to all of my quotes from the movie… Hee-hee.)

Go to Sunday mass at The Gesu in Ateneo.

Travel overseas. (Pittsburgh, here I come!)

Travel around the Philippines. (Bohol? Palawan? Vigan? Bicol? Davao? Boracay? Baguio again?)

Go to the beach. (Punta Fuego, here I come!)

Reconnect with Neil Roosma. (Where in the world is he? How is he?)

Reconnect with more old friends. (Who from my past will come back into my life?)

Discover my allergens and be rash-free. (Coffee, chocolates, nuts… gulp… what else?)

Take classes. (Watercolor? Fiction writing? Diving?)

Take up a new sport. (Boxing? Swimming? Ultimate Frisbee?)

Read Harry Potter 5. (Nikki, you can start by unwrapping it… Tsk, tsk, tsk.)

Hike up Taal Volcano. (Who’s game?)

Paint. (Where is that blank canvas board?)

Write a personal essay at least once a month. (Use that Things-to-Write-About List!)

Find true love. (Where are you, Mr. Right? We have to find each other soon…)

These are just some of the many different things leading up to my Great Dream of a fully- and well-lived life. To help the Universe conspire, I need to start writing the rest of my 2005 Wish List. More importantly, I also need to start working on making these dreams come true.


The future has become the present, and every dream will have a chance to be heard.


I hope my dreamer’s disease rubbed off on you; I hope you start writing your own 2005 Wish List. To help you get started, here are some things to remember when writing your Wish List:

Ask yourself several questions: What do I really want? What do I want to do? What do I want to happen this year? What have I been putting off forever that I really should do this year? What is my heart’s greatest desire?
Don’t edit or censor. No one needs to see your Wish List but you. The Universe already knows it well.
Dream big but don’t ask for the moon. Remember: dreams mean work!
Make it as specific as possible.
Identify specific months if you want your dream realized by a certain date.
For every dream, break it down into mini-dreams and action steps: what do you need to do to help make the dream come true?
If it will help you, divide your Wish List into categories: Books to Read. Places to Go To. Things to Do. People to Spend Time With.
Review your Wish List regularly—every week, if necessary—and check that you’re on track.
Take pleasure it ticking things off from your Wish List. Celebrate when your dreams come true.

I hope you’re excited to measure 2005. Dream big, but more importantly, expect great things from Him who conspires to make all of us dreamers happy and fulfilled. Enjoy what the new year has in store for you—all five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes of 2005.

PS. Excerpts were taken from Paulo Coelho's Warrior of the Light and By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept.

# posted by CloudWoman @ 17:43